


You Swoon, You Sigh

by LucoLoco



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 01:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucoLoco/pseuds/LucoLoco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock does not have a crush on Lestrade, really. John is so wrong, he really doesn't know what he's talking about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Swoon, You Sigh

**Author's Note:**

> Someone sent this headcanon to me and though I'd have preferred someone ~~better~~ else write it, I couldn't not have this fic exist.
> 
> Couple quick things:
> 
> 1\. This will have song lyrics but I wouldn't consider it a song fic, but if you object, I'll change the tag.
> 
> 2\. I tried as hard as I could to make it seem like Sherlock is speaking over the lyrics, and just in between them.
> 
> 3\. Muses' lines are just italicized, Meg's are italicized and bolded.
> 
> Let me know if I could format this better.
> 
> This isn't meant to be a serious fic (not that the subject matter would make it). I just mean it was fun writing it and I got to listen to this song 15+ times tonight.
> 
> Let me know what you think (if you wanna) and any mistakes/errors/typos/etc.

Sherlock wished John would mind his own business, thought as he turned the corner onto Baker Street. John had misinterpreted the situation completely. Sherlock was not "in love" or "crushing" (and god, what a juvenile way to refer to such a thing), and certainly not on Lestrade. 

And yet John would not stop insisting that he was. What did John know? Sherlock was the one with exceptional deductive reasoning. Of course John would just jump to the wrong conclusions just to mock him. Clearly, John was just trying too hard to prove his skill, and trying to show Sherlock up at the same time. Really, it was irritating. 

And what evidence did John think he had anyway? It wasn't as if Sherlock stared at Lestrade in any special way (did he?), or talked about him too much or in any favorable way (at least he thought he didn't). No, John was clearly just trying to get on Sherlock's nerves.

Sherlock reached his flat and unlocked the door. When he walked up the stairs and entered the living room, he saw John sitting on the sofa with laptop. At that moment, John had a grin on his face. He clicked something on the laptop and then set it down. Sherlock soon heard music playing.

**" _If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that."_**  

John moved his lips to the words, but he wasn't actually singing. Sherlock narrowed his eyes at him. What was John doing?

**_"No man is worth the aggravation,"_**

John cocked his hip right when horns came in. Had he been coordinating this?

**_"That's ancient history, been there, done that."_** ****

John began to bounce his hip and nod his head while pointing at Sherlock.

_"Who'd you think you're kidding? He's the earth and heavens to you._

_Try to keep it hidden, honey, we can see right through you._

_Girl, you can't conceal it, we know how you feel and who you're thinking of."_

Sherlock soon realized what the song was about, this whole silly business of a "crush" on Lestrade (though he wouldn't tell John 'earth and heavens to you' made him think of Lestrade _before_ he figured out what the song was really about). He started yelling at John while stepping toward him.

"What are you doing? This is childish," he yelled at John over the lyrics. However, John remained committed to the choreography and 'singing'.

**_"No chance, no way, I won't say it, oh no"_ ** John lip synced with a pout on his face.

"Oh, and I can assume that's supposed to be me?" Shelrock scoffed.

_"You swoon, you sigh, why deny it, uh oh"_ John sang, swaying along with the words.

**_"It's too cliche, I won't say I'm in love,"_** John's over-exaggerated pout came back.

"Stop this nonsense right now, John!" Sherlock continued to yell, almost as if he really believed it would make John stop. Meanwhile, he started walking towards John, but John just backed away from him while continuing to dance and maintaining his composure and coordination. Then John put on a sad face:

**_"I thought my heart had learned its lesson, it feels so good when you start out,_ **

**_My head is screaming 'Get a grip girl, unless you dying to cry your heart out'!"_**

 "That's not even something that's happened to me. I've never been in love, let alone hurt by anyone," Sherlock asserted. "This is absolutely ridiculous, a waste of our time," Sherlock said as John sang (well, lip-synced) back:

_"You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling_

_Baby we're not buying, hon, we saw you hit the ceiling_

_Face it like a grown up, when you gonna own up that you got, got, got it bad!"_

As Sherlock chased John around the living room, demanding he stop and that John come over so he could thrash him, he caught a glimpse of the laptop screen, and saw a cartoon on screen.

"Oh, it's from a kids' movie? You couldn't even find a song from something directed at adults? Of course, you would pick something juvenile to do something… juvenile," Sherlock remarked, though he noticed his slip in repetition. Shit.

**_"Whoa, no chance, no way, I won't say it"_** John continued unfazed.

"Perhaps you're projecting your having crush on someone onto me, and this is all some stupid stunt done in vain to deflect from your own situation," Sherlock tried.

_"Give up, give in, check the grin, you're in love"_ John sang with an even bigger grin than before.

"Wow, you really think playing a song will get me to admit to… to liking Lestrade?" Sherlock asked, trying to express disbelief.

**_"This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love,"_  **and then John crossed his arms and turned, trying to imitate Sherlock.

"Just because you think the song pertains to something only _you_ think is true?"

_"You're doin' flips, read our lips, you're in love."_  

"Which, by the way, you're wrong. You're so far from the truth."

**_"You're way off base, I won't say it_ **

**_Get off my case, I won't say it"_**  

Sherlock sighed. No matter how much Sherlock demanded John stop, John would not break. It was if he had been practicing this for and waiting to do it for at least a week (oh god, had he?). And… maybe it'd be okay if he acknowledged… No, no, of course he wouldn't acknowledge any because he didn't have anything to acknowledge.

_"Girl, don't be proud, It's okay, you're in love"_

"Couldn't you have at least picked a song without so many 'girls' in it?"

John shook his head.

**_"Oh… At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love…"_**

John did a little flutter of his fingers as the Muses sighed at the end of the song. He bowed, even as Sherlock glared at him.

"That wasn't funny, not in the slightest." Sherlock snapped.

"Maybe not, but your face was still priceless. And yet you still deny it! You were honestly not moved by the song to admit your crush on Lestrade?" John asked, feigning disbelief.

"Of course not! Because there's nothing to admit! I told you you were wasting both your time and mine with that dreadful dance number"

"I know, and you were _so_ determined to get me to stop," John teased back.

"What are you implying by that? It was simply because you were being annoying and distracting!"

"Okay, whatever you say, Sherlock, but you'd feel better if you admitted to it," John remarked.

"Admitted to what?"

That kind of perfect timing was almost unreal. Lestrade stood in the doorway to their flat, confusion and possibly worry on his face.

"Is something wrong, Sherlock? I could hear you two arguing about something when I was coming up."

"No! No, nothing is wrong! Nothing is wrong with _me_! I am _fine_! There is nothing to admit!" Sherlock yelled and stormed into his room.

"I'm sorry, I have something for him, but, uh, I can go…" Lestrade said, not sure what he had walked in on.

"No, stay! I'll talk to him," John said, trying his hardest to repress the smirk that was threatening to show on his face. John took Lestrade's nod as an agreement, and headed to Sherlock's room. When he got to the door, John spoke in soft voice.

"I won't tell you to come out, just to come out when you're ready. I'll just chat with our good ol' Detective Inspector in the meantime. _But._ I will say this: I've never seen you blush so hard as when he came in just now. See you in a bit." After finishing, he turned away and walked back out.

Sherlock sat on his bed. If Sherlock thought he had any chance of convincing John that he didn't feel anything romantic for Lestrade, it was gone now. He was certainly fucked, wasn't he.

**Author's Note:**

> Hercules is a good movie, you should watch it. It's got Danny DeVito who was in Twins.


End file.
